True Love Waits

So my last post was on what love does. How it acts.

This post is no different! :) 

Honestly, this is something that I've been thinking about a lot. When will the man God has for me show up? How will I know when he does? What if *gasp* he is already there and I'm friends with him?!

Isn't that a weird thought? I mean, I know quite a few guys (maybe you're even reading this!) and they're amazing, amazing people. 

I think one of the most profound posts I've ever read about guys and romantic relationships is this one here: 

I think this is so relevant! We girls (I don't know about guys!) fall for a Prince Charming. If we think you're cute, we fall and usually fall pretty hard. 

But that's not love! 

We say "Oh, he's my Prince Charming!" and that's fine and dandy! But I think Knight in Shining Armor is better. And even then we should scratch the shining! 

Knights had a pretty awful job. They fought, they worked, and they always had to be on guard. In short, they had to deal with the nitty gritty crap in the castle life. They got messy. They didn't always have perfect hair and clothes. Their armor got dirty and they had to clean it.

I think as girls, we have this unrealistic expectation of what guys are going to do for us. I know I do sometimes.   

I want to tell you girls something. (Sorry to all my guy readers! This one's for the girls!)

 The man you marry is not going to be perfect.

Let me repeat that:

The man you marry is not going to be perfect! 

Shocking, I know. I mean, he's human. He's going to do things that annoy you. He's going to squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle, he's going to leave his shoes out in the middle of the hallway, he's not going to always understand you. He's going to have bad days, days he's not going to be there for you because he has his own problems.

He's going to be a lot like you.

You , too, are going to do things that are going to drive him nutty! Habits that are so normal are going to be pet peeves you didn't know existed. That's life! 

But I think that's what makes love so very important. (Guys you can tune back in now!)  Love is looking past the flaws and the things they do that drive us crazy. Love is taking the baggage we both have and carrying it together. Love is listening when they've had an awful day and pushing our own problems back. Not to say our problems aren't important. They are. But love is dealing with it as a team. Never giving up, no matter the struggles, the tears, the hurt. 

That is the love we find in 1 Corinthians 13. That, my friends is Agape Love.

This is the goal, guys and gals. Not to find Mr Perfect or Miss Wonderful. No! It's to find the person God has for you. The one who is perfect. not in they have no flaws, but perfect in that God has made them for you. They're going to have flaws and problems. We all do. 

But love past that.

Better yet.

Love thru that. 

That's true love my friends!

If you're with someone right now who doesn't love you like that, with a love that knows no bounds, them please end it! You are so special! You're so worth a person who loves you for you, flaws and all! 

And if  you're not in a relationship ... wait! 

Wait for the person who will love you with an Agape Love. Someone who is so stinkin' worth it that no matter the struggle, no matter the pain, no matter what the heck life throws at you, the two of you will face it hand in hand. 

Trust me guys! 

I think it's going to be worth the wait for that kind of love. 

Love: Perfect When In Christ

Love. 

Such a little word for such a completely confusing, wonderful emotion! 

We use it rather flippantly though, don't we? I think we've forgotten what love truly is! 

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

So I want to talk about love. 

I've "been in love" many, many times. I've though I met Mr Perfect. That he could do no wrong, that he walked on water. I've made excuses, I've ignored my friends counsel. 

And it wasn't love. 

He ended up hurting me. Breaking my heart. 

I guess that's why they're called "crushes".

But ... love. 

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13 is commonly called the Love Chapter of the Bible. I love it! 

One thing I've heard, is that if you're crushing on someone put their name in for love.

"______ is patient. _______ is kind..."

This shows you what kind of person you're falling for. 

But I think what's more important is this. 

1 John 4:16 b

"...God is love..."

So, if God is love, He is the highest standard of love. 

I mean, for real! God let His son die for our sin! If that isn't love, what is?! 

If God's love is the standard of love, than how are we to compete? 

We can't.

God's love is perfect. God's love never leaves. God's love never fails! 

But on to the fact of love between two people. 

A man and a woman. 

I haven't met my man yet. Or if I have I don't know it yet! :) 

But I am...

1) Praying for him.

2) Keeping a journal  to give to him on our wedding day

3) Saving my heart for him

And while it's hard to wait, I know I'm being molded into the woman I am supposed to be for him. 

God's timing is perfect and I know when I meet him, I will fall head over heels for him. And I will seek to have a 1 Corinthians love. 

Love ...

Hard yet simple...

Wonderful and awful...

Perfect when in Christ. 

HPA - The Epilogue of a Grand Adventure

My last post was about my amazing friends I'd made in HPA.

Now I want to talk about HPA itself. 

HPA has been in my life for over 5 years. HPA stands for Homeschool Preforming Arts and it is amazing! My first year I did the Kids! production of Aristocats. It was fun, but I didn't really do anything else until the next year when I did HPA camp 2011. That was  not such a great experience, as some of the kids were jerks and made me cry.

I don't know what incited me to go back the next summer. But I did and loved it! I did camp in 2013 and then auditioned for what us HPAers call a Main Stage Show. It was terrifying and what was worse was waiting a whole MONTH for the cast lists! 

When they finally came out, I was a nun in The Sound of Music. It was a nerve wrecking, but wonderful year as I learned multiple songs in Latin and got to be in my favorite musical. I made a few friends and was so ready for summer camp!

2014 summer camp found me in Encore camp, a higher, more intense drama camp for students serious in going deeper with drama. It was fun and I made some really great friends!

I auditioned and got into Beauty and the Beast as a enchanted object. That cast...it was like a giant family. Devotions every show were followed by a song based off a verse from Romans.

May the God of hope fill us with all joy,

And peace as we trust in him,

So that we may know and overflow,

With hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

For He is good,

His love endures forever,

We walk in him

and live forever more.

It was so powerful, singing together. I had just gone through a very hard time with our church and was feeling bitter at it. Few people knew, but the power of the Holy Spirit was certainly there and it made me realize that not all "Christian" treated people the way I had been. 

This year I was in the Secret Garden as Mrs. Shelley. 

I've certainly had a year filled with drama (theatre and otherwise!) but I wouldn't change a thing. God uses everything in out lives, good and bad, to help us grow and mature in him. 

Jeremiah 29:11 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.

Jesus knows what we need and he uses it for our good. And in every instance, we need to shine his light. We may be broken and tattered on the inside, but inside we carry a priceless treasure.

2 Corinthians 4:7 - 8

 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

Tomorrow is the Cast Party and the end of my HPA adventure. I've learned a lot there. I know that where ever I go and whatever I do, God wants me to shine His Light everywhere.

HPA taught me to tell His story. His is part of my own and what ever I do, whether it be on stage or off, in private or seen by all, it needs to be for his honor and glory. 

My Secret Garden Adventure

Part of the Adventure is friends. I've been blessed with many friends from my drama group.  And I want to tell you about some of them that have been an amazing blessing to me this past year.

Now please know that if I don't mention you, you are no less important. These are just some of the people that I am thinking about as I write this. I think about all of you so much and "I thank my God in every remembrance of you." (Philippians 1:3)

Henry, Jonah, Heath, George, Ben, Zach, Zech and James - You guys! You crack me up and make me laugh so much. Yet, I feel like we can have a very serious conversation even while we joke and tease. You guys listen when I talk and offer a humorous solution.

Leelyn, Audrey and Anna - You girls are a strong pillar in my life. You are the ones I go to when something is going wrong. I know you'll listen when I have a problem and you pray for me when I need it. 

The Sarahs, Cari and Noelle - You gals are the laughter section! When I'm feelin' down I come to you to make me start laughin' again! But like the guys, I can have a serious conversation with you and being fellow females, we relate slightly better! 

The Kaitlyns - You two are some of my closest buds! Always ready with a hug and a back rub! We love to laugh and chat about anything and everything! I am so glad God put you in my life. 

There are so many, many many more, but these are the ones that have made such an impact on my life. This past year I've really gone on an adventure with them. God has blessed me with them and I want to take a moment to thank them. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12 

"And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

My friends, you have been with me through a lot this past year. I truly am blessed by each of you in so many ways it would take way to long to type them all out. But know this, I thank God for the time I had with you. it may have been three years or three months, but regardless it was the time we were meant to have together. 

I pray that I'll find friends like you in Illinois, but no matter who else I meet and where I go, know you'll always have a special place in my heart. 

It was truly an adventure my friends! Here's to many more; together and apart! 

God I thank you for these amazing people! Please bless them in ways we can't begin to imagine. Put people in there lives to bless them like they've blessed me. Fill their days with much laughter. Let your finger prints be evident in everything they do and everyone they meet. 

Thank you for letting them be in my life, Lord. I hope I have blessed them like they've blessed me. 

In Jesus's name I pray, Amen

Trying to Understand God's Plotline

I don't understand God sometimes. 

I guess that's an obvious statement. I mean, God is so above us in so many ways. Actually, in almost everything. 

But I still want to understand. 

The thing I'm struggling with right now? The death of my cousin's little girl, Paisley-Ann.

Paisley was born with a heart defect known as HLHS. (Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome) Many things happened during Paisley's short life. I know God has a reason for taking her after only short twelve days on earth. But I don't understand why she was brought here to begin with. She struggled, she hurt, she went through crap. So why did God decide to create her this way?

Psalms 139:13 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb."

If God created Paisley, why did she have this rare heart defect? Why did she live for only twelve days? Why why why?! 

Psalms 139:15 "My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth." 

God?!  Why did you create her that way?! Why did you take her so early from this life?!

Psalms 139:16 "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were laid out for me, when as yet there were none of them."

God knew. 

He knew the length of Paisley's days. He knew her mission. He knew she had completed it. 

And while the family and friends that are left behind grieve and ache and cry, we know, deep down that her life know is so much better. Because little Paisley is in the presence of her Creator, with a perfect, whole heart that is beating healthy and strong for her Savior. 

No more tubes, no more surgeries. No more worry or pain for little Paisley. She is finally whole.

Paisley beat us to glory. She's walking hand and hand with the One who knew her days before they started; who knew her job here on earth was completed. And now our little Paisley-Ann Faith is with Jesus. One day, we'll all see her again.

While right now we still have questions and are frustrated and angry with God, he knows what he's doing. He's got a plotline unlike anything we could ever begin to understand. We just need to trust him through it all.

Even when we're struggling to understand His plan.

The Merry Christmas Characters

Merry Christmas! I know it is not quite Christmas, or maybe when you're reading this it is even after Christmas, but I wan tot look at the characters of the Christmas narrative and thin about what they went through that first Christmas.

Let's start with Mary.

Mary groaned as another contraction hit her weary body. Her and Joseph had traveled all day to get here and now they didn't even have a descent room to birth Jesus.
Mary bit her lip as she watched Joseph slowly clean out an old manger he'd found in the back of the old stable they were in. Every so often his eyes would flicker up at her and he'd try and smile. But Mary knew that look. It was his 'fake' smile. When he really smiled it lit up his eyes and-
"Oh!" Mary groaned as she rolled to her side. This wasn't how she had imagined Jesus' birth. She'd imagined her mother being there or at least a midwife. She'd imagined women singing and celebrating a new life. Would I have gotten that? she wondered as the pain lessened around her stomach. Very few of the women in the village of Nazareth even spoke to her anymore, since her baby stomach had started to show. Everyone was whispering about who the father was. Was Joseph the baby's true father? Or was Mary a whore?If only they knew! If only God would open their eyes! This is Messiah! I think even I forget that sometimes. When the angel had come to her, when he told her she would be mother of Messiah, she was shocked. She knew, of course, that it would require sacrifice. Her reputation, her family, maybe even Joseph.
Mary smiled up at him as he came over and squeezed her hand.
"Are you going to be alright?" His tired eyes studied her.
"I'll be fine, Joseph. Women have babies every day. And if God told me I would bare Messiah, Jesus, then I will bare him. Think about it. We know I'll make it through we know God is with us. He's right here." She patted her belly and then squeezed Joseph's hand hard as a stronger, more painful contraction assaulted her body.
"I think ... I need to ....push!"
~ ~ ~
Imagine being that frightened, young girl. I'm seventeen this Christmas and I can't imagine going through with being the mother of Messiah. Scholars peg Mary at being anywhere from fourteen to eighteen when she had Jesus. Think about that? Are you ready to be a parent? Are you ready to be ridiculed and scoffed at for having a baby out of wedlock? Back then it was anything but the norm. Women could be killed if found to be with child without being married. So Mary's gentle, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me according to your will," was a big deal.

But it wasn't just Mary who's life was a struggle that night. Let's look at another person who was there that night. 

Joseph. 

"He's is a little miracle, Mary." Joseph placed Jesus in Mary's arms, brushing a strand of sweaty hair away from his wife's forehead. "I can't believe he's here."
"I know." Her tired eyes glowed with joy, "Praise be to God! His salvation is here."
Joseph marveled at Mary. His wife was so strong for one so young. How had he ever thought of leaving her? Thank you, Father God. Thank you for Mary.
Joseph laid an arm around his wife and she snuggled close, her eyes slipping shut. It had been a rough labor. Not to mention the journey to Bethlehem from Nazareth. as he watched his slipping wife and the little Jesus, Joseph wondered why God had chosen him to be the earthly father of Messiah. I'm just a carpenter. I know nothing of kings. Why did you chose me to be Jesus' father. I'm humbled God, but I'm terrified I'll mess it up. Mess him up. Joseph thought back to the Angel that had told him to take Mary to be his wife. God had shown him the way then. Not doubt he'd show him again and again.
~ ~ ~
And God did. God saved Jesus from Herod thru Joseph. God showed Joseph when it was time to go home. I believe God helped Joseph to raise Jesus.
Joseph no doubt felt he was an insignificant part of Jesus' story. That he wasn't worthy to raise Messiah. I don't know for sure, but I know I'd feel that way. But I believe Joseph's story is a lesson for us all. No matter who you are, what you've done or what you will do, God can use you! You are part of his story and no matter what, he can always us you.

Now, this is a character that isn't necessarily in the Bible, but I wan to look at him because he is often though of when we read the part, "There was no room in the inn."
Innkeeper, please tell us your story.

I didn't think much of them when they pounded on my door in the dead of night. Actually, that's not true. I thought of him a lot. I was tired and grouchy and wanted sleep. I mean, an inn doesn't run itself! It's tough work! My wife was snoring and didn't flinch, the old bat, when the pounding started.
Stumbling in my sleepiness, I flung open the door and stomped out to the gate.
"What?! What are you doing pounding on my door at this hour you will wake all my guests! Go away! I have no room!"
The young man flinched at my shouting. I noticed, but the light of my lamp, how tired and stressed he looked. That's when I saw her. She was leaning against the wall. Her stomach was bulging and I could tell her time was near. I mean, my wife has had ten children. I know pregnant ladies, alright!?
I dropped my gaze. "No room." I repeated as I slammed the gate in his face.
Walking slowly back to bed, I felt my conscience tickle me.
You could have found room. You could have given then your room!
I stopped and looked back at the gate. I could have offered them something!
"Aye aye aye!" I sighed as I lay down next to my wife.
"Who was at the door, David?" she asked, rolling over to study my face.
"I don't know, woman! I don't get the name of every vagabond pounding on the door and asking for a room! It was just a young couple."
"Ack! The poor dears! Where did they go?"
"I don't know. I heard him mutter something about a stable. She was near her time and-"
My wife sat up quickly, "You mean to tel me you turned away a pregnant woman? David how could you?!"
"Easy, Tabatha! We have no more room!"
She sighed and flung the covers off the bed, stomping over to fling on her head dress.
"And where are you going?"
"To find that couple!"
"Good luck!" I sighed as I laid down. But the moment I closed my eyes, I saw the woman's small body, shaking from cold and pain.
Aye aye aye! Dear Father in Heaven. Who was that young lady. And why am I feeling like I made a huge mistake turning them away?

~ ~ ~ 

I think we've all had an innkeeper moment. We're at the end of our rope and someone else comes knocking on our door, asking us to give up something we don't have. Time, money, maybe even our *gasp* comfort? And we slam the door in their faces. 

I think we can learn something from this character, even if he isn't in the biblical account. We can learn that, no matter what, we should help those who need it. Not just at Christmas, but all throughout the year. For, "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." (Hebrews 13:2) 

But truly the greatest character was Jesus. He came as a babe to save the world. Heaven's perfect lamb. He came to die on a cross for me, for you, for everyone. Never forget that. And as Linus from Charlie Brown put it, "That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown." 

Praying for God to bless each person who reads this this Christmas season! 
Have a very Merry Christmas everyone!

Here We Are and Here We Stay!

Guys ... we made it!

It took forever. It was stressful and hard.

But, boy, is it worth it!

To finally be here, to start building relationships on this adventure, to be where God wants us and know without a doubt that we are meant to be here...I can't do it justice.

But is the devil ever hitting our house hard. He doesn't want us to be functioning the way we can. Tempers are short, the little ones are getting into everything (and that includes coloring the dog) and life is still crazy! Please continue to pray for us!

But being where God wants ... goodness ... nothing can compare!

I wanted to share a little about our new town and home in this post. 

Aledo is a little town, 3700 people the sign says when you enter. The town of Pride and Progress, it looks like something straight out of Andy Griffith. In short, it's adorable! :)

The town is so safe, Mom lets me go walking by myself with no worries and it is so fun to walk up and down the streets and enjoy this peaceful little town.

My family and I went to the school Winter concert and I was shocked. Not only where they an amazing choir and band, (over 100 kids are in the two bands. That makes up one-forth of the student body) but they sang the Hallelujah Chorus at the end of the choir performance! In a public school! It absolutely floored me! 

The house was built in the 1880's and is so cool! My room has one of the smallest closets, but it has the attic stair case! The house has a servant staircase, and let me just say this now. THANK YOU! Thank you to the poor servants back in the day who climbed those stair uncountable times. They are so stinkin' steep! I almost fell the other day and had a mini heart-attack, cause boy would that hurt! 

There is beautiful wood work all through the house as well as a large kitchen and separate dining room. 

I am so blessed to have met three wonderful new friends: Gabby, Damon and Anna. They are all major Whovians like me and we love discussing all things superhero, Star Wars, Doctor Who and Lord of the Rings. 

God has brought us through so much and I know he is going to continue to bring us through much, much more. 

Thank you God, for this adventure. I know I've doubted. I know I will still to doubt sometimes. But you have me. You've never let go. I am where you want me. Use me how you will. I love you Lord. 

Amen.